Dear ****,
They say love is unexplained euphoria, thrill, constant surprises, butterflies in the stomach, wild passion, and thousands of little nervous breakdowns. Ours never was like that.
They say people meet and their knees soften, hearts beat as hell and after the first meeting sometimes they already know they want to spend the rest of their lives with each other. I have seen couples who move in together in the second week of their relationship, then they tattoo their names, marry three months later or have a child a year after their first date. We have never acted so immature purely out of love.
However, I already know you better than anyone else.
I know what you are going to laugh at, and for what sign should I be looking for to see whether the joke truly amuses you or you just want to flatter me. I know, and do not approve of your love for mayonnaise; and I know all of your stories, which should not be told to others. I know how unsure in yourself you were when you started your student years, and I more than anyone else believe how high you will get in the professional and social ladder.
I do not know if I have ever loved you in the right way, and I do not know who will be the judge of that. But for one thing, I am sure - you are my grasp of fresh air, and I need you in order to survive. a bonus to your salary. I can sense when you will not get up early the next day and whether you want to eat something savoury or sweet.
I do not know if I have ever loved you in the right way, and I do not know who will be the judge of that. But for one thing I am sure - you are my grasp of fresh air, and I need you in order to survive.
Sometimes someone enters your life slowly through the back door, does not break the lock, but sneaks slightly like the smell of morning coffee in your living room, then a bit in your heart. He shows you how awkward he is in the kitchen and then comes in the bedroom. It all becomes so natural that you finally wonder why you did not do it at the beginning. The life before him seems unreal.
This love story is not a best-seller, people do not cry at it in the cinema theatres, and it is not like the one we have imagined as children, but it is no less true.
Somehow I got used to you without even wanting you in my life. I got to know you a little by little and everything I saw, I liked more and more. You are not the one I am going to turn to look at on the street, either one of the men who will come to the bar to shamelessly flirt with me. You are the one who does not just listen to me, but hears and reflects on what I have said; at least when you are in the mood for that.
I have always thought the opposite of love was the habit. Or that these two words should not be mentioned in one sentence. Sometimes, however, it is exactly the habit in its finest sense that makes me realise how attached I have become to you. The moment I find myself thinking about the man next to me as much as about myself. The moment when I feel lonely even in the most crowded room because you are not there. You are the first person I would call if I have a problem or a sleepless night.
I know what it is about to happen, but I do not have any plans of going anywhere and looking for something different, spicier and more intriguing from another. I know we will become one of those predictable dull and slightly crazy families. And I want everything I have predicted.. nothing more or fancier.
Because I have enough next to you.
Yours Sincerely,
******** x
Comments